Notes’n’News
Valley Highlands
Area – Scouts Canada
Notes’n’News |
Volume two # 5 Scouter Chris Tyler Firstscoutkim@aol.com
February
derives it name from the Latin “Februra” signifying the purification. Several feast days, namely that of Pope
Gregory ll. On the 11th,
Lupercalis,
on the 15th and the two St Valentines of the third century, both
celebrated on the 14th gradually became merged to become Valentines
Day on the 14th to celebrate lovers.
The giving of flowers and other gifts traditionally marks the day.
Here in the
Less is More…
Well, yes you’ve guessed it - I have been
sitting by the swimming pool here, with nothing better to do than play my
calculator while the ice cools my Daiquiri.
If the volume of
the ice is twice the volume of the liquor, and the liquor is three times hotter
than the ice, how long before I can sip a cold drink?
Of course this
depends upon several factors, one of them being whether the glass is insulated
from the air around it or sitting in an ice bucket, or I’m holding it in my
hand. Now although I’m quite used to
juggling several tasks at once, holding a glass of precious liquid and
operating a calculator is not among them.
Hence I am no nearer an answer.
Who cares anyway – after a few (Hic!)
Daiquiris … well…!
However using that
same calculator I have proved that Less is more….
Take for instance
our membership fee - $100.00 per person.
Now multiplying that by the supposed number of members nationwide –
310,000 will give us a total income to National H.Q. of 3I MILLION dollars. – And they still want more, so the fee is
bound to increase again next year, right?
Still fewer
members will be able to afford the increased fee and will leave the
movement. So, the increase will need to
be disproportionately high in order to maintain the status quo – namely the 31
Million dollars, thus putting membership out of reach of even more current
members. BUT…. If
the membership fee was reduced… more
members would stay, and more would join, swelling the coffers of the almighty
gods and keep them happy. Let’s take a
look at some figures.
Current
figures…. 310,000 members @ $100 =
31,000,000. (Enough to buy 774 up-market
cars or pay 387 staff a salary of $80,000 year or buy 103 luxury homes with
change.)
However if the fee
was halved – to $50 a head we could increase our present membership by 50% so
the income would be $23,250,000 a shortfall of $7,750,000 which would never
do. We would need to recruit a bit
harder.
But if they
decreased the fee to $25 we could easily increase our membership fourfold. Now, H.Q. would never go to that extreme, but
if they did we could easily raise our membership to 1,240,000 giving a total
income of $31,000,000 – The Status Quo.
But if they charged just $5 more they would be able to bank an extra $5,200,000 for a rainy day.
Plus we
would have more youth to work with, more adult leaders – leading to better
programs – leading to more youth – putting even more money in the coffers. So there it is, proof that less is more. My
Daiquiri is warming up again so I’ll just drown my sorrows over too high a
membership fee - in another cold one.
Cheer’s
S.M.S. (shortened form of “Short Messaging
Service.”)
Browsing (wasting more time) at my computer recently, I really thought I’d had one over the eight when this story really captured my interest -- it amazes me how people will adapt to their technology, rather than make their technology adapt to them. It's certainly nothing new: the keyboard on the computer you're sitting at right now probably has a "Qwerty" layout for the keys. That key arrangement is anti-ergonomic -- it was specifically designed to slow down typing because of the mechanical limitations of typewriters in the 1870s. Problem with the keys jamming? Anti-engineer the keyboard to slow people down, don't fix the technology to keep it from jamming! (Which, of course, they did do long ago -- but we're still stuck with Qwerty even though a far superior alternative has been available for decades!)
Similarly, when people have a problem communicating with "Short Message Service" on their cell phones, the solution is to alter (even destroy) the language, rather than make SMS better: Take the following message for instance…
Sv Me Fm Hl! (Save me from hell!)
2 BZ 4 church? (Too busy for church?) No problem: thanks to cell phone
"Short Message Service", church can come to you. To help, a religious
group has "translated" the Lord's Prayer into SMS shorthand.
"Our Father, who art in heaven" is delivered as "dad@hvn"
while "hallowed be thy name" becomes "urspshl." The entire
prayer fits the SMS limit of 160 characters -- with 3 to spare. The group's
spokesman says the prayer is "an experimental form of virtual
worship." (London Times) ...Which is
pretty much what all prayer is, if you think about it.
The full translation is fairly interesting:
|
Original (sort of ! the true original was in Aramaic) |
SMS Version |
English Translation |
|
Our Father who art in heaven, |
dad@hvn, |
Dad at heaven, |
|
hallowed be thy name. |
urspshl. |
you're special. |
|
Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, |
we want wot u want |
We want what you want |
|
on earth, as it is in heaven. |
&urth2b like hvn. |
and Earth to be like heaven. |
|
Give us this day our daily bread, |
giv us food |
Give us food |
|
and forgive us our trespasses, |
&4giv r sins |
and forgive our sins |
|
as we forgive those who trespass against us. |
lyk we 4giv uvaz. |
like we forgive others. |
|
And lead us not into temptation, |
don't test us! |
Don't test us! |
|
but deliver us from evil. |
save us! |
Save us! |
|
For thine is the kingdom, |
bcos we kno |
because we know you're boss, |
|
and the power, |
|
you're tough, |
|
and the glory, for ever and ever. |
& |
and you're cool forever! |
|
Amen. |
ok? |
OK? |
(The SMS translation was written by Matthew Campbell, a
history student at
This Months Campfire collection…
Cheer’s, Yells & applause
Match Applause... Pretend
to light a match on the seat of your pants, say Yeeoooooooww!!
Hankey approval... Drop hankey,
applause only while hanky is in the air
Supersonic... Silently wave arms,
open mouth as if cheering... wait several moments, then yell loudly...
Round of applause... Clap in a
circle
Give a big hand... Hold up hand
Ketchup bottle... slap back of other
hand
politician applause... pat your self
on the back
Seal of approval... put elbows
together, clap, and Arf Arf Arf
Cheese applause... Grate, grate,
grate...GRRRREAT!
Leaky tire applause... HISS...
Cookie... Crummy, crummy, crummy...
Oh CRUMBS!
Ghost applause... Boo...
Oil refinery applause... Crude,
crude, crude...
Good Turn Cheer... Stand up, run
around in a circle, and sit back down.
Rattlesnake Applause... Hisssssssssss...
Canned Laughter... Laugh when lid is
removed from a can, and stop when lid is closed.
Flea Clap... Applaud by clicking the
nails of the thumb and finger together.
Doctor... Open mouth, stick out
tongue, say Ahhhhhhhhh!
Hand and Foot... Applaud with
striking hand on foot.
Mosquito... Rapidly slap face, neck,
shoulders.
Slow Motion Applause... Cheer and
applaud in slow motion.
The Uncoordinated Applause... Clap
hands, but miss completely.
Two songs to learn
SHE SAT ON A
1. She sat on a hillside and
strummed her guitar, strummed her guitar, strummed her guitar.
She sat on a hillside and strummed
her guitar, strummed her gui-ta-a-a-ar.
2. He sat down beside her and smoked his cigar...(Repeat as above)
3. He said that he loved her but,
oh! How he lied... (Repeat as above)
4. They were to be married but somehow she died... (Repeat as above)
5. He went to her funeral but just
for the ride... (repeat as above)
6. He went to her grave site and laughed 'til he cried... (repeat as above)
7. The grave stone fell over and
squish-squash he died... (repeat as above)
8. She went up to heaven and flittered and flied... (repeat as above)
9. He went down below and sizzled
and fried... (repeat as above)
10. The moral of this song is: don't tell a lie... D-o-n-‘t t-e-l-l a L-i-e…
I MET A BEAR
[Tune: Sipping Cider through a Straw]
1. The other day, [echo] I met a bear, [echo] Out in the woods, [echo]away out there. [Point.]
[echo]
(continue to echo throughout)
2. He looked at me, I looked at him, He sized up me, I sized up him.
3. He says to me, "Why don't you run?" "Cause I can see, you have no gun."
4. I says to him, "That's a good idea." "Now legs get going, get me out of here!"
5. I began to run, away from there, But right behind me was that bear.
6. And on the path ahead of me, I saw a tree, Oh glory be.
7. The lowest branch was ten feet up, I'd have to jump and trust to luck.
8. And so I jumped into the air, But I missed that branch away up there.
9. Now don't you fret, and don't you frown, I caught that branch on the way back down.
10. That's all there is, there ain't no more, Unless I meet that bear once more.
Skit
#1
The
Check-up. Cast: Doctor and patient.
Doctor examines the patient then scribbles out a
prescription:
“Take one of these
yellow pills every morning with two glasses of water.
Take one of these purple
pills every noon with two glasses of water, and
Take one of the red
pills every evening with two glasses of water”
Patient:
“Holy Cow, Doc, give it to me straight.
What’s wrong with me?”
Doctor:
“Your dehydrated.”
Skit #2
The Bacon Tree.
(Cast: The General, The sergeant, Three Squadies)
One of the characters sets the scene. The army is bivouacked somewhere in the wilds
of Canada.
The General instructs the Sergeant to send a
squadie out to reconnoiter the forest.
The scout is sooner out of sight when he screams, staggers back on
stage, announces, “Sergeant, it’s a bacon tree.” And dies.
Unable to understand the message, the general and
the sergeant send out another Squadie.
The scene repeats until all scouts are dead.
Finally the sergeant goes out himself. Again, a scream. The sergeant mortally wounded, drags himself
back on stage and declares “General, Its not a bacon tree at all, it’s a Ham
Bush.
The
Legend of Lady Godiva…
Away back in eleventh
century Britain, Leofric, the earl of Marcia, was determined to raise taxes in
the city of Coventry, to supplement his extravagant lifestyle. His wife, the very lovely Lady Godiva, became
very upset when she heard of her husbands’ plan, which would put many of the
townsfolk below the poverty line.
Secretly she met with the towns’ elders and together they hatched a plot
that would appeal to her husband’s lascivious desires. When the time came, she would ride through
the town naked on condition that at the appointed hour all of the townsfolk
would hide behind locked doors so as not see her nakedness. Anyone who broke this rule would have his
eyes put out. This was agreed by all.
On
the appointed day, Lady Godiva approached her husband saying, “Look, the people
cannot afford new taxes, if you will agree not make the raise, I will ride
through the town without a stitch of clothing on my person, and not a single person
will notice the display. The ruse
worked. Leofric announced that he would
not raise the taxes if Godiva could ride through the town Naked – but unnoticed
by the townsfolk.
At
two of the clock on the appointed day, Lady Godiva removed her clothes,
including the hursac, a linen sack that hung from the forehead, used to keep
the abundance of hair in check. Allowing
her long tresses to cover her maidenhood, she rode through the town on her
husbands white gelding.
Only
one man dared to peep. He was Tom, the
tailor who had crept to a window in order to thread a needle. However, Tom had his eyes put out as per the
agreement, and has ever since been known as “Peeping Tom”
(From the ‘hursac‘ or Hairsack, we now have the
terms Haversack and Knapsack both meaning a small cotton bag worn over the
shoulder(s) to carry essentials such as when hiking)
Menu
for Camp. Not all food needs to be “hot” at camp,
especially at lunchtime on a hot steamy day. Try these.
This
month a delicious, easy recipe for One pot Garden Pasta Toss, Turkey and Ham
Pine-berry Sandwiches, and a Zesty Fruit Punch.
Garden Pasta Toss.
3 cups uncooked bow-tie pasta. 3 quarts water, 1 cup broccoli flowerets, 2 small carrots finely sliced, 1, 14oz can artichoke hearts, quartered and drained. 1-cup cherry tomatoes halved. 4 green onions sliced. ¼teaspoon dried oregano, ¼ teaspoon dried basil, ½ cup Italian Parmesan dressing. Shredded Parmesan cheese (optional)
Method.
Cook pasta in 3 quarts boiling water in a Dutch oven, about eight
minutes. Add broccoli and carrots cook
for six minutes more. Drain. Return pasta to Dutch oven stir artichokes
and next four ingredients. Add dressing,
tossing to coat. Cover and chill two
hours. Sprinkle with shredded cheese if
desired. Serve with half an apple,
sliced, and celery sticks with cream cheese, and warmed slices of buttered
French bread.
Turkey, Ham and Pine-berry Sandwiches.
1, 3oz package light cream cheese, softened. 1/3rd Cup drained, crushed
pineapple. 12 slices Fresh raisin bread. 6 slices Turkey Breast, 6 slices cooked Ham,
6 tablespoons Cranberry/Orange relish, drained.
Mint leaves for garnish.
(Cran/Orange relish. Half can of whole cranberry sauce and One
large Orange, pared and finely chopped.
Discard excess orange juice, Mix thoroughly.)
Stir together cream cheese and pineapple. Spread two teaspoons cream cheese mixture on
each bread slice. Top 6 bread slices
with Turkey slices. Spread cran/orange
relish over turkey and add Ham slices and remaining bread slices. Cut sandwiches in half cornerwise. Garnish with mint leaves or sprigs. Serve with chilled watermelon slices.
Zesty Fruit Punch.
32 ounce bottle Fruit Punch. 6-oz can frozen limeade concentrate,
partially thawed. 6oz can frozen Orange
juice concentrate, partially thawed. 1 small jar maraschino cherries. Stir first three ingredients together and
serve over crushed ice and maraschino cherries.
Don’t forget the straws.
Natures
Miracles… Some
program material to use or adapt for use in a number of badges.
Long before man invented the wheel, nature was
busy producing many of the wonders we erroneously attribute to Man. Let’s take a peek at a few of them…
AIR CONDITIONING.
Modern technology cools many homes.
But for thousands of years termites have built air-conditioned nests,
and still do. Bearing in mind that these
tiny creatures are totally blind, how can this be?
Millions of termite workers coordinate their
efforts to build their nest inside a hollow mound. From the nest warm air rises up through this hollow
mound and escapes through the porous sides.
Tiny openings in the base of the mound allow cool, fresh air to enter
and circulate around the nest. In hot
weather cool water is drawn up from underground to assist in the cooling of the
nest, evaporating out of the top portion of the mound.
AIRPLANES.
The design of airplane wings has benefited over the years from the study
of the wings of birds. The curvature of
the bird’s wings gives the lift needed to overcome the downward pull of
gravity. But when the wing is tilted up
too much, there is a danger of stalling.
To avoid this, the bird has on the leading edges of its wings rows or
flaps of feathers that pop up as wing tilt increases. These flaps maintain lift by keeping the main
airstream from separating from the wing surface. At the tips of wings of both birds and
airplanes, eddies form and they produce drag.
Birds minimize this in two ways.
Some birds, swifts and albatross have long slender wings with small
tips, and this design eliminates most of the eddies. Other birds like the big hawks and vultures,
have broad wings that would make big eddies, but this is avoided when they
spread out, like fingers, the pinions at the ends of their wings. This changes the blunt ends into several
narrow strips the break up the eddies.
Airplane wings however still fall far short of the engineering marvels
found in the wings of birds.
ANTIFREEZE.
Humans use glycol in car radiators as antifreeze to cool the
engine. But certain microscopic plants
use chemically similar glycerol to keep from freezing in Antarctic lakes. It is also found in insects that survive in
temperatures of 4 degrees below zero Fahrenheit. There are fish that produce their own
antifreeze, enabling them to survive in the frigid temperatures of the
Antarctic Ocean. Some trees survive
temperatures of 40 degrees below zero Fahrenheit because they contain “Very
pure water,” without dust or dirt particles upon which ice crystals can form.
AQUALUNGS.
Man straps tanks of air to his back and can remain under water for an
hour or so. Certain water beetles do it
more simply and stay submerged far longer.
They grab an air bubble and submerge.
The bubble serves as an aqualung.
It takes in carbon dioxide from the beetle and diffuses it into the water,
and takes oxygen dissolved in the water for the beetle to use.
COMPASSES.
About the 13th century C.E. men began using a magnetic needle
floating in a bowl of water – a crude compass.
But it was nothing new. Bacteria
contain strings of magnetic particles just the right size to make a
compass. These guide them to their
preferred environments. Magnetite has
been found in many other organisms – birds, bees, butterflies, dolphins,
mollusks, and others. Experiments
indicate that homing pigeons return home by sensing the earth’s magnetic
field. This is now also the accepted
theory of the way migrating birds keep track of direction.
DESALINATION.
Men build huge factories to remove salt from seawater. Mangrove trees have roots that suck up
seawater, but filter it through membranes that remove the salt. Sea birds such as Gulls, Pelicans,
Cormorants, Albatross and Petrels, drink seawater and by means of glands in
their heads remove excess salt that gets into their blood, as do Penguins, Sea
Turtles, and Sea Iguana’s.
And
Finally…
Bumper Sticker’s
of the year…
“If you can read
this, thank a teacher – and since it’s in English, thank a soldier!!”
“When we were young, we went skinny dipping – Now
we just Chunky Dunk”
“Why
is it that our children cannot read the bible in school – but criminals can -
in prison?”
“Why do I have to swear on the bible in court –
when the Ten Commandments cannot be displayed outside it!!”